Weekly Photo Challenge: Celebration

This week’s photo challenge is Celebration.  The biggest celebratory festival for Chinese must be the Lunar New Year, and we Chinese celebrate it in a big way.  It starts on the eve of Lunar New Year where families gather for the Reunion Dinner.

And the Reunion Dinner is all about food.  My family usually has steamboat for the Reunion Dinner because it’s the easiest to fix.  It’s nothing fancy, but there is something very ‘family’ and cosy about having a steamboat feast.

This year on the eve, my cousin moved house and the tables in the house couldn’t accommodate the whole family hence the kids (not so young ‘kids’ because I’m referring to my generation) were relegated to a second table while our parents sat at the main table.  I wish I had a photo of the family tucking in for dinner to share, but nothing, I mean nothing, comes between my Aunt’s steamboat and I.  And as always, my closest cousin and I were the last ones to leave the table.

Yup, this is my interpretation of celebration – bonding with my family, over food.

On the 7th Day

On the 7th day of the Lunar New Year a week ago, my family and I had a dinner at one of our favourite restaurants – Seafood Paradise @ Defu Lane.  The food they served used to be better years ago when they first started out but in spite of that, we still like to visit simply because it’s merely a 10-minute drive away from home, with no necessity to brave any downtown traffic or crowd.

The 7th Day of the Lunar New Year is significant for celebrating Chinese because it is known as ‘人日’ or the Common Man’s Birthday.  In short, we Chinese believe everyone celebrates their birthdays on the 7th Day with ‘鱼生’ or raw fish salad -thoroughly tossed before eaten.  At least that’s the practice for Chinese living in Singapore and Malaysia.  For some reason – perhaps for posterity – there is this whole big argument about whether the concept of this raw fish salad came from Singapore or Malaysia first, but to me, it doesn’t matter.  What’s most important is I get to enjoy it!

So, in any case, it seems like visiting a restaurant to celebrate this occasion has become somewhat a tradition in my family.  It was no different this year although I should warn you, that a Chinese restaurant should be avoided during the Lunar New Year unless you are ready to accept sub-standard, not to mention, limited fare.  For very good reasons actually.  Most markets and restaurants rest for a few days during the Lunar New Year.  In fact, I remember that my mum used to go to the wet market 2 nights before the 1st day of the Lunar New Year to do her marketing – and stock up an amount often enough to last the whole family a fortnight or so.  Times have changed since – food is more readily available but the fare is still decidedly limited during this period.

{clockwise from top left: Herbal Prawns, Vegetables, Ee Fu Noodles and Cod}

We didn’t order the restaurant’s signature dishes that day – the butter crabs and crab in superior stock with vermicelli because we didn’t feel like having crabs.  And in any case, they were not serving crabs for the few days, presumably from a shortage of the crustaceans.

The food we had wasn’t mind-blowing but we Chinese like to bond over food, so the company was much more important than the food.  That night, on the 7th day of the 2011 Lunar New Year, I was spending quality time bonding with my family over dinner.  Nothing else matters more.

Seafood Paradise @ Defu Lane
91 Defu Lane 10
#01-01 Swee Hin Building
Singapore 539221
Tel: +65-6487-2429
Opening Hours:
1130-1430hrs & 1730-2300hrs

Safe Haven, Mine

I was in a bit of a trouble earlier this week.  Nothing malign, really.  Just that my car wouldn’t start after RCIA class at the Church.  When I was ready to make a dash for home because I was so wearied by my cough.

Splendid.

After trying to start the car several times, I had to be honest with myself – it just wasn’t going to start without other means of help.  And so I reached for my cell phone and pushed on the ‘D’ button a little longer than usual; ‘D’ being my designated speed dial button to reach Daddy.  It didn’t matter that I am a married daughter who supposedly has someone else to champion me.  In times of trouble, I still think of my parents first thing to help me fix things.  I’m not proud of it, but that’s the way it is.

I had a bad day.  I was exhausted from the weekend activities, had a long Monday, learnt about something rather unsettling prior to knocking off which I needed time to mull over, and there I was, stranded at the car park of the Church unable to return to the place where I most wanted to be – home –  to talk to the person I most needed to talk to for my nerves.

Murphy’s Law, that.

Like one all big, giant conspiracy to throw me completely off balance.

Daddy came in his own car, with Mummy in tow.  His business contact reached only mere seconds afore and after jump-starting my car, we were headed towards his workshop to replace the battery.  There was nowhere to go, and I wasn’t in a rush anymore.  I stood by the roadside with Mummy and the wife of the business contact and we started chatting while Daddy chatted with his friend while he worked.  And I found myself seeing my own parents in a very new light – their social skills amazed me.  Now, why didn’t I inherit that from them?

At the end of the day, close to midnight when I was finally home, bathed and all ready for bed, I was already feeling much better.  Even before I had the talk with the hubby – the talk which I thought I desperately needed.

That little episode shewed me once again how easily I fall into the trap of self-pity and getting caught up with the daily mundanes.  It wasn’t raining (in fact it was even mercifully balmy) at the open-air car park while I waited with friends who chose to wait with me, I had my parents at my beck and call, and I had an overly concerned husband who would be calling me once in a while to ask me for updates.

Things could be a lot worse – heavy rain, waiting alone in an almost deserted car park, a dead cell phone and parents who ask me to solve my own problem.

None of that happened.

I am blessed.  And today, I would like to count my blessings.

I have been seeing a lot of my relatives with it being the Lunar New Year season.  And I like being surrounded by so much love.  The Lunar New Year, to me, is not about buying new clothes, spring-cleaning or ‘losing’ money through ang pows.  It is about spending time with family and gorging myself silly with food, to a lesser extent.  And oh, playing mahjong too.

I hope you’ve been having fun this festive season too.

Happy Bunny Year!

Happy Lunar New Year!

For the uninitiated, Lunar New Year 2011 celebrates the Year of the Rabbit, which is the 4th animal in Chinese Zodiac – Rat, Ox, Tiger, Rabbit, Dragon, Snake, Horse, Goat, Monkey, Roster, Dog and Pig.

There are 15 days to the Lunar New Year and I believe China declares the whole duration as National Holidays, but not so in multi-racial Singapore*  - only the first 2 days are declared Public Holidays.  We are fortunate this year because with the 1st day of the Lunar New Year falling on a Thursday meant that everyone in Singapore is now looking forward to a long weekend!

The Tans are very ill-prepared for the Lunar New Year this year indeed, no thanks to a long bout of sickness followed by a buzz of activities unrelated to the preparation for the new year.  As a result, spring-cleaning was left to be done at the last hour prior to the reunion dinner with our family.  And I’ve also chosen to sit in front of the iMac to type this post – scheduled to go live a little after midnight, as always – amidst the gazillion things waiting to be done.

Great.  Just great.  Nothing comes between me and my writing.  Just remember that, darling.

Lunar New Year preparation in Singapore is a mayhem, I tell ya.  Last-minute rushes to buy new clothes, new shoes, new hairdo, new manicure and pedicure, stock food enough to last the family and relatives visiting for months, buy mandarin oranges, buy pots of flowers from the nurseries, wash the car speck and span, make sure the petrol tank is full.

And oh, the most important of all, married couples must prepare the ang-pows to be given to the parents and grand-parents, the unmarried and the younger than.  All in fresh new notes, no less.  This is a task I see to personally every year ever since we ‘earned’ the rights to distribute ang-pows.  Why, I even maintain an Excel spreadsheet to track our ‘rates’ so that we do not inadvertently give out an ang pow lower than what we had given in the past years.  You know, as an insurance against faulty memories.

Perhaps it’s the same for Chinese living in other parts of the world.  In the very least, I believe the Malaysian Chinese celebrate it in a very similar manner.

Tomorrow is another long day ahead and I am much in want of some shuteye.  I really ought to see to packing of the ang-pows and then calling it a night.

*  Singapore prides on being a fair and secular multi-racial society so each of the 4 represented races chose 2 days each which they wanted to be declared as Public Holidays – the Chinese chose 2 days of the Lunar New Year, the Malays chose Hari Raya Puasa and Hari Raya Haji, the Indians chose Vesak Day and Deepavali, and the Eurasians chose Good Friday and Christmas Day.  The other declared Public Holidays are New Year’s Day, Labour Day and National Day.

Being ‘Pantang’

Recently I learnt about the passing of a friend’s mum when I was away in Tokyo.  And she went on to inform me that she is not likely to attend a gathering at my humble abode over the Lunar New Year period.  Because she’s not supposed to since it hasn’t been 100 days since her mum’s passing.  In case I or my visitors are ‘pantang‘ about such things.

I took exception to her self-imposed exile.  Especially when she had been based overseas for the past 2 to 3 years and we had been seeing little of her.

‘Pantang‘ is really in Hokkien (one of the numerous Chinese dialects), and is a foreign concept to most people, except maybe the Chinese.  The Chinese categorises events into two kinds – the ‘red’ auspicious kind, and the ‘white’ inauspicious kind.  The ‘red’ kind, everyone welcomes, including marriages, births , festivals and moving house, to name a few.  The ‘white’ kind everyone would prefer to shun, mainly deaths and funerals.  And the ‘red’ and ‘white’ cannot mix, because they will ‘clash’ and cause ill luck.  Oh, ‘red’ and ‘red’ cannot mix too for example one should refrain from attending another’s wedding if it is within 3 or 6 months of her own’s.

Just in case.

What do you mean ‘just in case’?  I don’t get it.  The dead is now 6 feet under, so let’s get the grieving done and healing started.  But why must we torture the living by ‘ostracising’ them, not letting them into our houses when we know they will need the most support in these darkest moments.  Make me understand.

I went through the same hell some 6 years ago when my late father-in-law passed on 1.5 months before our wedding.  And instructions given to me were, ‘Don’t tell your friends because your wedding is in a month’s time.  And don’t come home, continue staying in your matrimonial home because ‘red’ and ‘white’ shouldn’t mix.  I want you to have a good marriage.’

Hello.  I need release for my grief too.  Especially when, at the time, I felt that I was a jinx who indirectly caused his death.  Don’t ask me how I arrived at this conclusion – I was irrational then.

And so the whole funeral was almost like a clandestine operation for me.  I spoke to no one about it and I grieved alone.  Not at all surprising that I snapped.  Looking back, repressing all the grief must have somewhat contributed to my depression.

So for Christ’s sake, have a heart and access the situation before you decide to be superstitious.